Gopi woke up suddenly out of his bed. He was sweating profusely. He immediately went out of his bedroom to check the thermostat located in the living room. It was set at 70F which he usually likes to set it at. He didn't understand why was he sweating. He was not feeling sick either. Had a decent dinner that night while watching the movie, River, he liked so much. He was dreaming as usual, in the early hours. Before going back to bed he checked the clock, it just turned 4:00AM. So, he went back to bed again.
Gopi was dreaming again. It was a party in the woods with a bonfire in the peak of winter. A reunion with old friends in a foreign country. Everyone was turning around the bonfire to keep their bodies warm. A few of his drunk friends were talking old stuff from college and high school. All the bantering, jokes, small fights for drinks and left over kebabs from the dinner...
Suddenly, he wakes up again, he is sweating again even though he took off his pyjamas before going to bed last time. A young lady came into his mind. He knows it is Swapna, but cannot recognize her in the dream. It was all hazy. Couldn't get to see her clearly at the party, even though he could recognize her silhouette. She was talking with some other girl and laughing. Everything was clear in the dark, thickly covered farm area of Green Valley. He could recognize friends who he hasn't seen for 10 years.
Gopi was half asleep, he slowly dropped onto the floor, confused with what is going on. It was as if he was in two places at the same time. For the next few minutes he concentrated on the silhouette to capture a clear image. Gopi was having a little problem with his personal life. Past few weeks he has been thinking why did she write to him like that? He was nice, all through. Never got irritated with all the tantrums and reckless comments. In fact Gopi's current state of mind does not allow him for any angry reaction. In the past two months he got pissed off only once, at work. He wasn't sure what was going on in their relationship. He did not even think there was a relationship until the small talk they had at the train station. Swapna is smart, intelligent. Gopi admired her for her work and had a great time working with her for the past year or so. He was the project manager at an engineering company that makes hardware for running remotely controlled robots.
Gopi was still thinking in his sleep. He was on the carpeted floor in a single bedroom apartment on the top floor. It has been many years he left his country in search of good opportunities with a dream to fulfill, knowing and planning every step he was going to take. But, things didn't go as expected. It was almost five years since he bid adieu to his love of fifteen years. He was devastated when he got the news. He couldn't talk to anyone, including Sunder and Jyothsna. He kept the topic of love off bounds with everyone including his best friends. He thought important decisions in life should be taken alone and not be influenced by others thoughts. However, this is not true with every other decision he took. Only his friendship and later on the relationship with Shravika that was off bounds. Why was it so you will know a little later.
Every other person of opposite sex he met in the last five years, compared them to her. He couldn't control it from happening. It was the only reference point he had and in that such a deep one it took him several months to come to terms with regular life. He was ashamed at being such a baby yet he let himself to feel miserably. When he finally spoke of the situation with someone he thought would understand what he was going through, felt good that he let it out. The topic never bothered him so much again.
Gopi was confused with what was going on with Swapna. She was behaving a little different and he wasn't sure how to get it cleared out. It was bothering him as it always does whenever the situation is complicated. It was this dream that was to solve his current problem and get him some peace. He wasn't comparing her with Shravika. Shravika wasn't even part of his thoughts for the past of couple of years. He thought of Swapna only as a good friend and still would want to be so. Anything other than that would ruin the friendship. He knew that from the beginning. He had no expectations. But the mood swings and topics have changed over the last couple of months. As it is the case with all of us "what we percieve is a reflection of our current state of mind". Things got out of control for a few months. Gopi started becoming more open about his thoughts and this could have caused problems on the other side. Gopi realized this and thought of something else from a post he got from Swapna.
The dream was clear to him. He could not recognize Swapna not because he was drunk or anything. It is just a reflection of how little he knows about her. It was always he talking. Past few years he has become opposite of what he used to be in college. Talking his mind off too much. It brought him peace, he felt at times. But the same attitude had cost him his peace now. He went aloof and this he realized wasn't a good strategy. The dream had a clear message. When he first noticed her at the party there was no spark. The spark he could always see when thinking about Shravika and later on his other friend whom he talked about Shravika a few years back. He should have known that she is not the one. His admiration for her and the post he got led to him a temporary state of misbelief. He wasn't sure how he could pass this thought onto her...
Gopi got up on his feet put on the pyjamas and wet back to his bed. When he woke up it was a beautiful day outside. He was feeling energetic and was prepared to take on life as it comes again, happily.
To be continued....
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